The Phases To Becoming a Pet
by Hitomi-chanchan
Summary: When my life ends at the hands of my lovely demon, i can almost hear the music. A series of songfics that follow ceil through his 'death'. Sebastian isn't giving him up that easily though. Yaoi, SebCeil all the way baby!
1. Warning

**Standard Notice for All Who Intend to Continue Reading.**

**Hello, this is the author Hitomi, I would like to make a statement before you being reading, this fanfiction is very old, which mean an unprecedented amount of errors, clichés, bad spelling, bad tact, uncalled for and unjustly outspoken opinions and the like. I am not proud of these works and will take them down shortly in lieu of something far more tolerable. **

**If you wish to continue reading, but all means go on.**

**(*) NOTES SPECIFIC TO THIS STORY(*)**

**I really do not care for this fanfiction anymore and may or may not re-write the entire thing. It will most certainly be taken down shortly, It is most defiantly weird, and painfully poorly written. I do not mean to discredit myself as an author, but please keep in mind how OLD this is.**


	2. The Bird and Worm Phase

_Bonjour my lovelies, I know what your thinking, WHY IS SHE STARTING THIS WHEN SHE HAS SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO UPDATE AND FINISH! AND WASN'T SHE DEAD FOR LIKE A MONTH. Yes to both those things, but I honestly couldn't help myself, in my absence, I've fallen madly in love with a boy and his demon. God there so amazing! Yes, I am part of the 90% of the people who watch Kuroshitsuji who are thoroughly convinced it is a yaoi/ Shounen Ai. Yuna, you are so cruel to us! Well, I'm here to make it better my lovelies! This is my first time writing for the two, so I apologize if they seem ooc at anytime. _

_The song used is The Bird and the Worm by the Used_

_The Anime/ Manga characters used belong to Yuna! _

_I OWN NOTHING AND AM MAKING NO MONEY OFF OF THIS! DON'T SUE ME!_

Death is a very complex thing.

_**He wears his heart safe to pin to his backpack…his backpack is all that he knows**_

The bench was cold and hard, but I didn't notice. The only thing I could think of was the demon kneeling before me, murmuring those three familiar words.

"Yes…My Lord" He looked up, his eyes a burning crimson.

_**Shot down by strangers whose glances can cripple the heart and devour the soul. **_

He bit the middle finger of the glove, and pulled it off, letting it drop to the stones beneath us. The brush of his hand as it caressed my cheek was chilling and comforting, almost, if I was so wrong to believe, loving. This was it, he would devour me now, I am scared, though I wont let him see that, I lean into the caress, I can pretend for a little while longer…cant I? His fingers slip under the eye patch, gently pulling it away and I allow my eyes to open fully, staring up at him, I can't help but let my lips tremble as he leans forward with that lustful and hungry look. I freeze completely, awaiting the last touch.

_**All alone he turns to stone, while holding his breath after death. Terrified of what's inside to, save his life, he crawls like a worm from a bird.**_

I want to run, truly I do, what is this I'm feeling inside, unadulterated terror? No, I'm past that, very far past that. Is it longing, perhaps. But again, I stopped feeling that the moment he stopped touching my face. Then I realize, it's a sense of aloneness, that same sense I've always tried to desperately run from, to get away from at all costs. But, I haven't needed to get away, not lately, because he's been there to stop it. Even on my way here, alone, he wasn't really gone from me, my wall wasn't completely crumpled, it is now though. Why is he taking so long, why…no, wait, I told him to make it painful, he is. He's molding my end around my own personal pain, the sense of aloneness and failure; he's letting it pile up.

_**All alone (crawls like a worm from a bird)**_

Finally, its time to truly start. I refuse to close my eyes, even as my right eye begins to burn horribly, tears form from the burning, no, in both my eyes. I'm crying, damn him. He's smiling at me, that sinful smirk. He's enjoying my pain, was I that horrid a master? Now it comes, his lips…are on mine. Now I can close my eyes, he'll take it from here, he always does. His tongue wants entrance? Fine. What is this method? For some reason, I expected it to be a bit more, bloody?

_**Out of his mind the way, pushes him, whispering, must have been out of his mind.**_

"Master" he whispers. His hands cup my face as he tilts my head back, the kiss deepening. He is so very good at creating and bringing about my deepest pain, reminding me how horrible a person I am. I find such joy in this, a kiss from another man, truly repulsive. Well played, my knight. Bring me into check; take out the king with his deepest weakness.

_**Midday to losing this, pushing this, out of his; head maybe, out of his mind.**_

His fingers ghost over my skin and I shutter, how can I not?

_**(Out of his mind)**_

I want to reach up and pull him closer. But that's not aloud, I'm nothing now, this is such a fine way to lose your soul. I truly am rooted to the spot now, he's holding me here, I can't move, I know I most likely never will, ever again.

_**All alone he turns to stone, while holding his breath after death. Terrified of what's inside, to, save his life, he crawls like a worm (crawls like a worm) crawls like a worm from a bird**_

I feel the world fading now, a sensation similar to being dizzy. He pulls back now, is this it? Will I fall into hell now? I fall forward, but not through the ground…the grounds not even there anymore. I fall into his ever waiting arms, but no, this is an allusion of death. He's not whispering that he loves me, he not, he can't be. I won't listen to The Devil's tricks.

_**All alone (crawls like a worm from a bird) All alone**_

"Master, master, I love you" his voice is deep, beyond recognition. He's not saying these things into my neck; he's not holding me so tenderly. My final fantasies are absolutely cruel to me.

_**Crawls like a worm, crawls like a worm from a bird**_

"I have something to tell you…" he whispers. Well go on then, if we are to drag out this pain, why don't you just tell me how much you desperately love me, how you will not eat me, and keep me with you forever, lets make this sinful elusion complete, kiss me, rid me of my innocence, right here and now, do it, kill me completely.

_**All he knows, if he can't relive it, it grows, and so it goes, (it goes) he crawls like a worm, crawls like a worm from a bird.**_

"Dieing is fairly Complex, quite frankly, I don't wish to guide you through all the steps, it's so tiresome" I can just hear the smirk in your voice, you lovely bastard. "So, because I am…quiet tired. I will make another deal with you. Though I warn you darling little master, you will gain nothing but suffering." He kisses me again, if I could raise even one hand, I would help him deepen it, what's right and wrong be damned.

_**He crawls like a worm. Out of his mind, the way pushes him, whispering. Must have been out of his mind. **_

"Here are your options; I'll let you go here, though that would be a waist of such a…beautiful soul. Or, you could become mine, a pet, if you will, a servant, more accurately."

I wish I could smile; this is such wonderful games Sebastian, if only you could know how much I love you right now. "Our roles would simply switch." Again that smirk is so eminent in your heavenly voice. I am so truly petrified.

_**All alone he turns to stone, while holding his breath after death. Terrified of what's inside to, save his life, he crawls like a worm (Crawls like a worm) crawls like a worm from a bird**_

I'll be your pet, sure, give me ears, a tail, hell, give me a collar and a chain, I'll be yours, I'll give you everything, Oh…you planned this didn't you.

_**All alone (crawls like a worm from a bird) All alone**_

"Such a cleaver former master, yes, I planned this."

Why? What's so special about me? I'm a cursed boy, a damned child. What would a demon like you want with me?

"Think about it bocchan…" again with the smirk.

Well, I could, but you know my mind is so screwed…why would you want that with a child, surely if that was all you wanted, you could have waited until I was older, my peak was in a few years you know…

"True, but who says that's all I wanted, and besides, if you become my pet, I'm sure I could get you used to that…but there more Bocchan."

Is there? I can't think of anything, than again, you are so close to me…how do you expect me to think, my twisted mind wont work just now, I'm so sorry.

_**Crawls like a worm, Crawls like a worm from a bird.**_

Your breath is hot in my ear; you must be very close to me now.

"It's _because_ of that twisted mind. I've seen so many come to there ends, brought to there knees by my power and temptations. But not you my lovely little master, you only fell when it was impossible not to fall. You understood very well, I'm not going away, you can't run, blah blah blah, your very aware that I can burn your whole world down, and I have now, your mind only strayed to these sick thoughts when you will not have the chance to think them again. It's _lovely_ really. Now, will you come with me, and belong to me and only me"

Oh course you idiot, you've served your purpose, those bastards are burning for what the did, my soul is yours…I'm yours, do what you wish, I wont stop you, Hell, I'll do what ever you want without question

_**All Alone**_

"Wonderful"…Check Mate

_**All Alone**_

Dieing is Complex, serving another can seem impossible, but in the journey to come, who am I to say, that I, Ceil Phantomhive cannot accomplish the impossible, if its for him, I will not only do the impossible, I will create and break it.

_Damn I think that's awesome of me! (Pats back) well, I loved writing this and I think its one of the best things I've ever written, please, Ma Cheri's! Tell me what you think in a review! Or give me a note on my profile, the next will be the first phase (insert part of song title here)_


	3. The Dead Phase

_Ello Lovelies, time for chapter two_

_Song is Dead! By My Chemical Romance_

_I don't own the song, the characters, the band, nothing, not mine, stop looking at me! O.O_

_**The Dead Phase**_

How strange this city is, but I feel like I know it…

_**And if your heart stops beating, I'll be here wondering, did you get what you disserve?**_

"Bocchan, don't look anyone you see in the eyes, please"

"Fine" I answer, not like I can take my eyes off of you anyway. When you said you would be dropping the human disguise, I thought you would become hideous, oh, so damnably wrong of me to think so. You're only more irresistible now…I think my hearts going to explode.

_**The ending of your life**_

*sigh* wear are we anyway, as I look around, careful not to meet the stares of the almost human things around us, my eyes find a reflective shop window and I freeze in mid step, you freeze when you no longer feel me walking. I can feel that smirk of yours slide across your increasingly gorges face.

"Trouble, love?" hell yes there's trouble! I run over to the glass, to better see myself…and the fluffy ashen Cat ear on my head. Matched of course by a flowing swishy tail protruding from my backside.

"The Hell?" I murmur really to myself. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my small waist, oh; I see you changed my cloths as well.

"You told me to do whatever I wanted, and pets tend to have…furry appendages, no?" he stroked my ears while he said this, and I felt my stomach become very warm.

_**And if you get to heaven, I'll be here waiting baby, to get what you deserve, the end, and if your life won't wait, then your heart can't take this**_

I nodded; I guess I could live with this, who cares? I'm just a pet…hard to wrap my brain around that though

_**Have you heard the news that you're dead?**_

The cloths are a bit…odd. Though I suppose you always loved to dress me in dark blue and lace. Perhaps a little to lacy for a male outfit though? The Blue over coat and shorts are nice though, I don't mind that I'm wearing lace stockings and black high heals. I don't even mind the huge lace bow that seems to hold this outfit together. In fact I'm sure one tug would permit most of these cloths to fall away…tempting.__

_**No one ever had much nice to say oh, I think I never liked you anyway, you're dead**_

Sometimes I hate you though. We continue to walk now, your arm doesn't leave me, and more of these things seem to be eyeing me. Were are we anyway…I feel like I know this place

_**Take me from the hospital bed, wouldn't it be grand, ain't exactly what you planned, and wouldn't it be great if we were dead**_

…Its London! Before the fire! When did we get back here? And what are all these things doing wandering the streets of a mortal city?

_**Oh, dead**_

"Not the London your thinking of, Kitten" the last word is laced with sensuality; I think I would fall if you weren't holding onto me so tightly, so possessively.

"Then what London, I only know of one" I say as though your stupid, I wonder sometimes. You smile at me, I have to look away.

_**So tiered and oh so squeamish, you never fell in love.**_

I've never been in love before; even now I'm not sure if I am. This thrill only seems to come when you touch me just so…like now. I move away from you as your hand trails lower than my back. Though the distance is short lived as you close it again, and keep me in place.

"Keep in mind who your master is…now" you say without looking at me, your hand moves lower again, fine, I'll put up with it master…though your making it hard to walk in a straight line, heat is clouding my vision…damn you.

_**Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life and if you get to heaven, I'll be hear waiting baby, to get what you deserve, the end **_

"This is a London of passing; I have one more master to serve, before we can go home for a while." I cringe at the thought, and your hand is still in a certain place. "Don't fret love" you're starting to sound like Lau, I swear. "I wont stay long with him, his vengeance is short lived and his soul is weak, I only need a quick snack, it should last no more than a year, which your should hardly notice pass by.

_**And if your life won't wait**_

Wonderful…a whole other year before I get to see this fabled demon world, your hand really should move, I can barely walk in these six inch heals as it is.

_**Then your heart can't take this, have, you heard the news that you're dead?**_

…ok, really, I can barely think straight.

_**No one ever had much nice to say now, I think I never liked you anyway, you're dead**_

"Hmm, after this master, there's a world I think you'll like" you hand moves back up to the small of my back. Thank you, see? My vision is already clearing.

"Sorry, what was that?" You smile at how distracted I am by you, these ears are really helping me read you, I can feel the lust fill your eyes without even looking at you.

"A place, you would like very much…a resting point if you will, before we start home." I nod. Rest sounds good; can you believe how exhausted I feel already?

_**Take me from the hospital bed. Wouldn't be grand and take a pistol by the hand and wouldn't it be great if we were dead.**_

I can see the gates ahead, huge and gothic. The crowds are also thickening, and the staring is becoming more relentless.

"Sebastian, honestly, what's with these things" You smile, and your grip tightens. I would almost be as tall as you know, if you also weren't wearing heals…what's with you and women's shoes?

"There attracted to your soul, which I have, in truth, barely eaten. You have no idea how beautiful it is, how extremely rare, and exquisitely powerful." You sound like your talking about some rare stone…

"I may as well be." You smile and kiss my cheek as we walk, several demon things tense in longing and disdain.

_**And In my honest observation, during this operation found a complication in your heart so long, cause now you've got…maybe just two weeks to live?**_

Sebastian…

"Sebastian…how powerful are you… in demon standings…" You smirk this time.

"Very, but no wear near the most, you can tell a demons power by how human they look, for instance, there's a kitsune over there, it has very low ranking because foxes don't have multiple tails, or stand on there hind legs and wear green kimonos. Now, demons like me or say…Pluto, who could take a human form, we are fairly strong demons. There are Demon who are especially powerful, one of ranking so high, its almost inconceivable. Then there are Death gods, like Grell and William, though they are low in there own ranking. But I have forever to explain this to you, I wont bore you now."

_**Was there ever something you can't have?**_

The Gates are approaching.

_**One, two, one two three four**_

_**La la la la la, lala la la la la, lalala la la la la**_

We pass through, you take me into your arms completely, picking me up, you carry me bridle style

_**Well come on**_

_**La la la la la, lala la la la la, lalala la la la la**_

I can only imagine how weak I must look, the pretty little damsel in the arms of such a powerful being…I hate you

_**Mother fucker**_

I bet that's what you are isn't it

_**If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?**_

So one more master? Oh, wear back in the human world…yet you don't put me down.

_**If life ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing?**_

My ears are hidden…odd, but…I look more like you now, than human…because I'm dead aren't I.

_**Then why am I dead?**_

What an ugly master…

…_**DEAD!**_

I know him, hello father, long time no see, however did you escape this man?

_You know what I would love, a big Ceil doll, and…A REVIEW. Tell me wear I screwed up, pretty please!_


	4. The Imaginary Phase

_WEEEEE REVIEWS! You guys are so awesome, oh, and I'm sorry for miss spelling her name, my friend snatched the manga right out of my hands! Anyho, I apologize for any oocness, and a slight implied smut warning for this chapter, don't freak out! I don't and won't go into detail, but it has to happen, so…I don't know, skip the sentence, that's right, it's probably no more than a sentence, anyway, onto the story._

_Song: Imaginary by Evanescence_

_Characters belong to YANA Toboso, there we go, (I hope I got it right, horrible with names…and important dates…)_

How beautiful

_**Paper Flowers**_

The grass sways gently around me, I'm not sure wear Sebastian went, but he said he would be back, so...for now I'll rest, such lovely flowers

_**Paper Flowers**_

I lay on my stomach in the glistening dew, staring up at the rolling lavender sky. This place is silent, I love it. I feel so at ease here…hard to believe I've been dead for a year…well longer than that, but to actually be off of the human world, it's truly mystifying. My father went quickly, do you know how odd it is to witness your own birth…Sebastian actually was my dog…how ironic, didn't he repeatedly mention how much he hates dogs. I chuckle to the flowers.

_**I linger in the doorway…of alarm clock screaming, monsters calling my name. Let Me Stay**_

That dog was so affectionate with me…no wonder. Creepy really. But to think he was after father's soul. I wonder what he did to attract the demon. What did he say it was…?

_I loved him first, or so I thought…then I meet his darling son, and well, lets say is stopped taking human form around him, he thought I had stopped inhabiting your beloved mongrel…wonderfully dense man he was. I stayed wit you, until it was time to go, but quiet frankly I knew wear you'd end up, and that you would need me, so I didn't stray far_

Stray, that dog barley left my side…

_**Wear the wind will whisper too me, wear the raindrops as there falling tell a story**_

"Oh, what a lovely picture…" oh, he's back; I sit up and face him, staring up from the ground. I feel so small, what a horrible feeling. He smiles tenderly and kneels in front of me, but there's more to the tender smile. The lust that had been there since the beginning is starting to push its way to the front. He strokes my face and my ears again, making me feel warm, even in the comfortable cool of the dawn fields. He flicks a lavender petal from my ashen hair and kisses the spot wear it had rested.

_**In my field of paper flowers, with candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)**_

He gathers me to him, holding me in his steady grasp.

_**I lie inside myself for hours, and watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)**_

I snuggle closer to his suddenly welcoming warmth. I really do feel sleepy, even after lying here for what feels like hours.

_**Don't say I'm out of touch, with this rampant chaos…your reality**_

"We'll be going soon" He whispers.

_**I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge…The Nightmares I built my own world to escape**_

Good, I'm starting to get bored.

_**In my field of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)**_

I hear a chuckle

_**I lie inside myself for hours…and watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)**_

"Well, it's a good thing I came then, because there's something I wish to do, before we move on…and since you're so terribly bored…"

_**Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming, cannot cease for fear of silent night**_

_**Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming, not the worries of imaginary light**_

It started happening so fast, oh and I was right, pull the bow and it all comes away. IF I thought I had felt heat before, I was wrong, this was suffocating heat, but, I didn't want it to stop. And he didn't let it, not once. I felt it slipping away, I'm not sure if many people can say that. But I felt it go…the last of my innocence, with every motion, every sound, it was gone.

_**In my field of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby (flowers) I'd lie inside my self for hours, And watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)**_

He helped me dress, and I left that place, leaving my innocence among the paper flowers

_There, not so bad, see? I don't have the stomach to write that, not now at least, so, drop a review pretty please!_


	5. The Pretender Phase

_Sorry the last one was so short! But, eh…Ceil losing his innocence was the only thing that needed to be portrayed so…yeah, slight smut, extremely slight_

_Song: The Pretender by the Foo Fighters_

_Characters: ARE NOT MINE! _

Its cold…very cold.

_**Keep you in the dark; you know they all…pretend. Keep you in the dark, and so it all…began**_

The girl is dieing out here, I can see that. I'm no fool. Yet somehow she manages to survive until her seventeenth year. She finds a poor man, they get married. They try for a child, but none will happen, God won't have it. This woman was long forgotten by her family, in favor for her sister.

_**Send in your skeletons, seeing as there bones come marching in…again**_

There of Nobel standing, she has golden hair with neat curls and dazzling blue eyes. The forgotten one has brown hair and brown eyes. They are very different, but almost the same. The blonde girl finds a young man, he loves her dearly, her parents smile on in approval, the forgotten one gone from there minds.

_**The needs you buried deep, the secrets that you keep are ever ready, are you ready?**_

Let's watch the Rich girl for a while,.

_**I'm finished making sense, done pleading ignorance, that whole…defense**_

She smiles as he takes her hand. 'Oh there so in love, aren't they cute' coo the onlookers. Revolting, like an over ripe fruit, it's too sweet for me, to perfect, lets look at the other sister. Hmm, she's fallen, people mock her as she shakily stands. She's hungry and dirty, she can't remember where she's been. It's all a blur to her. This girl is…insane, I've noticed. Her imaginary friends talk to her all the time, mocking her as well.

_**It's been an infinity boy; the wheel is spinning, its never ending, never ending, same old story**_

Oh, he's bought her a diamond, almost as big as my old Safire…charming of him. She's lived this life always, pampered and petted by her relatives, swooned over and charmed by the young men. She's perhaps had a little too much fun with young men, though word will never get out, her reputations secure. For now. Oh, a maid has not given her the correct spoon for the meal she's eating…now she's being beaten by the cherished child.

_**What if I say you're not like the others, what if I say you're not just another one of your plains, you're the pretender, what if I say I will never surrender**_

The forgotten one is also being beaten by that man she so loved. Guess he doesn't feel the same does he? You should have just slept with him like he asked. Not like a child will form, right?

_**What if I say you're not like the others, what if I say you're not just another one of your plains, you're the pretender, what if I say I will never surrender**_

The loved one has had a fun night as well. She's only sixteen and already considered…talented. How nice for her, I can see the men lining up already.

_**In time I'm so untold, I'm just another soul to sell…oh well**_

The shunned one buys bread with the little money she's managed to pull together. She gives to a dieing child, lying in the street, oh what an angel you are.

_**The page is out of print, we are not permanent, were temporary, temporary, same old story**_

The blonde has a heated night with her husband, she's expecting beautiful twin boys.

_**What if I say you're not like the others? What if I say you're not just another one of your plains, you're the pretender, what if I say I will never surrender**_

The brown haired one lies down for a while, she doesn't feel quiet right…she's contracted scarlet fever.

_**What if I day your not like the others, what if I say your not just another one of your plains, you're the pretender, what if I say I will never surrender.**_

Both these women will die…which is the right one to save?

_**I'm the voice your head, you refuse to hear, I'm the face that you have to face, mirrored in your stare...**_

Sebastian is expecting me to give the correct answer, so I will think. There is the rich girl, he's promised that if I save her, both twins live. Then threes the poor girl, if I save her, he's promised she'll live a better life, and never know pain again.

_**I'm what's left**_

The rich snot, or the poor angel

_**I'm what's right**_

Simple, which deserves to live?

_**I'm the enemy**_

The rich snot, of coarse, now don't make that face, think about the circumstance.

_**I'm the hand that take you down, bring you to your knees, so who…are you**_

The Rich snot will have two male children, they have very good genes and are born into nobility. They will most likely thrive in the business world and in the physiological field.

_**Ya who…are you**_

The poor angel cannot bear children and is senile at the age of seventeen. She doesn't disserve to live, she will not benefit the species, she'll just drag them down

_**Ya, who are you?**_

….how is my analyses?

_**Keep you in the dark; you know they all…pretend **_

You smile crookedly, that cat-like smirk.

_**What if I say you're not like the others, what if I say you're not just another one of your plains, you're the pretender, what if I say I will never surrender? **_

"Wonderfully done…Ceil" you say it so sexually…all the time, I shiver again. "I know it seems cruel, but that is how it should be, and that is how it is in the demon world. In order to survive, you must look at every situation as you so perfectly looked at this one."

You bring me into a warm embrace and hesitantly I return it.

_**What if I say you're not like the others, what if I say you're not just another one of your plains, you're the pretender, what if I say I will never surrender.**_

"Well done, my pet" you whisper into my ear, my vision is clouding again

_**Keep you in the dark; you know they all…pretend**_

You kiss me, and I lose my mind a little more. Why do you do this…I can tell your hearts not in this…are you just messing with me, because I think you are. You lying bastard

_**Keep you in the dark; you know they all…pretend**_

Why do you do this to me. You are supposed to treat your pets with love aren't you? And if you don't love your pets then at least give them distance, don't fake it, please, we can tell, we won't fall for allusions.

_**So who…are you?**_

Are demon's really so cold. Am I expected to get used to this, because I wont, I promise you that. Your hands are pulling the bow again, I feel the snow on my skin, and it burns, almost as much as your body against mine.

_**Ya, who...are you**_

Is this all I am for you? A toy, a release? Because that's very mean of you.

_**Ya, who are you?**_

That's very cold.

_Hey, I added implied sex… I actually hadn't planned to do that yet, oh well, you get it in the next two chapters as well so…good for the pervs…yeea. Drop a review, I'll try to get a beta on this thing!_


	6. The Wolves Phase

_Wee, 'nother chapter! Um… yeah, thanks for the reviews, OH MY GOD! I found out that yana toboso also writes this one shounen-ai called Rust Blasters! It's amazing! I love it so so so much! Ok, on with the story_

_I also realize some of you were confused about Ceil and _

_Sebastian going back to get Ceil's father's soul. Allow me to explain this. The way I see it, demons don't perceive time the way we do, they can dip in and out of it as they see fit, and now that Ceil is with Sebastian, he can do so as well. There's also a theory that says every single event in time is happening over and over again, and will continue to do so until the end of time, I'm going by that and saying Sebastian simply went back to that time to get Ceil's fathers soul, yes, he was the man that would only take a year, to Ceil, that is. It took about as long as Ceil was born to the time of the fire, which was Sebastian's doing, and then some, for the time before Ceil was born. Now Ceil isn't a full demon, so time technically still passes for him, but he can dip in and out of the human sense of it, such as watching his own birth, watch Sebastian the dog, and the real Sebastian, but he's never actually there, human physics prevent that because of something called a paradox, Sebastian is not affected by this so he simply inhabits the body of himself in that time period or moment to do as he pleases, don't pay mind and don't try to think about it if you didn't understand what I just said, its not important to the story aside from proving Ceil is not a human anymore.…so on to the disclaimer and stuff. Oh, I also apologize for my HORRIBLE grammar, I know it pisses most people off but I haven't found a beta yet so…sorry, I'll try to get one as soon as possible and will probably rewrite my last few chapters._

_By the By, a warning so your not so confused, hopefully, Ceil dips into human time for a while here, to get away from Sebastian, he unconsciously goes back in time to a random night when he was still alive before he meet Sebastian and his house burned down and his parents were murdered and yada yada. He's six here, lets say. Oh and sex warning, and implied rape. _

_Song used: House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance (note: in the song, he says 'tell me I'm a bad man, kick me like a stray, well I changed man to boy, because Ceil…isn't exactly a man so, yeah, those are the original lyrics. Sorry MyChem Fans)_

_Disclaimer: Ceil, you do it, I'm to lazy_

_Ceil…_

_*looks at*_

_Ceil: I don't feel like it *walks away*_

_Me: Damn, Mk, I don't own the song, band, the cute little boy, or the demon!_

I hate you to death, master

I have to keep running; I won't stay in a place like this, not with him…not like this.

_**Yeah, I know a thing about contrition, because I've got enough to spare, and I'll be granting your permission, because you haven't got a prayer.**_

His hands are all over me, and it stopped sending me up in flames long ago. I can't take this anymore, these dead touches, these emotionless declarations of love. I said make it painful, not unbearable, please, your starting to look like they did, your hurting me. Please stop…no more.

_**Well I said hey hallelujah, I wanna, come on sing the praise, I let the spirit come all through ya, we got innocence for days**_

I run, I don't know where too, I don't care. As long as I'm away from him. As long as I can escape it. You know how sensitive I am to touch, because of those white clad, masked bastards. I'm filthy enough, don't heighten it, I beg you, don't follow me. To where ever it is I'm running. Leave me alone…just for now, please…no more.

_**Well I think I'm gonna burn in hell, everybody burn a house right down and say now, what I wanna say,**_

I run through the halls of my home, escaping the darkness at the end of the hallway, just barely, I make it. I stop to catch my breath and rest a moment. I don't sense you anymore, well, not close by at least. As I sit, I notice my outfit has changed, and the floor came closer much faster. I get up weakly, bewildered. It is night, and I can see my reflection in the floor length window. I'm young again, my face is completely open, nothing is hiding my emotions, my eyes match, my ears and tail are gone it seems. I stare thunderstruck, this cannot be happing.

Did I really do it? Did I escape him, who could have given me a second chance? There is no God, I'm sure of it, and even if their was, why would he suddenly smile upon me? Am I not a cursed child? I can hear heavy footsteps, like those of a man approach me. I tense, then relax, it's not him.

_**Tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave, tell me I'm a bad boy, kick me like a stray, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave, now go**_

I turn and see my father smiling at me, I want to cry…and this body won't let me stop myself. As he kneels, I burst into tears and run to him.

"Papa, Papa!" I sob into his shoulder as he holds me.

"Ceil, my darling son, whatever is the matter?" I shake my head and continue to cry, I can't explain it to you, there are no words to describe this feeling. You pick me up and carry me down the hall, and I don't let go, not for a moment.

We walk a ways and I am able to cease my sobs. I look over your shoulder, wiping my eye and freeze. That dog is walking faithfully behind you, a dark gleam in his once friendly eyes. I begin to shake and can only stare in horror. You turn, cutting my view off of him. You lift me up to examine me from below. "Son, what's wrong?" you look down, and smile warmly. "It's only Sebastian." I cry out at the name and he panics slightly, pulling me back into a hug as I cry again. This body will let me conceal no emotion at all. How riveting. I can't remember the last time I cried so shamefully.

Not even during his cruel ministrations did I cry.

"My boy, is he alright? Were is darling little Ceil?" I freeze, as the sweet voice fills the hall, no…it can't be.

"Were over here, darling" he says.

_**Yes I am, now yes I am…yes I am now yes I am**_

I'm taken from his arms and into a softer hold, the smell of honey and dew fills my head and I cry again, clutching to her flowing dress. My mother hadn't held me like this…I can't even think of a time when she had. But she was now. She was rocking me softly as I forgot the man concealed in the dog watching this little family moment.

"Shh, dear, it's alright, theirs nothing to fear, your safe, hush now" I can't even remember what I was afraid of.

"Darling, I think its time he and I retire, have a good rest" she says softly, and kisses the man before we walk away. I look over her shoulder and see him smiling…at the dog. They turn, and he begins to walk away, in the direction I believe used to be father's rooms. He and mother did not sleep in the same bed, in fact, mother and I didn't sleep in the same bed either, only on special occasions, but our rooms weren't as far apart as they were from fathers. The dog watches me and I swear a smirk flashes across its pure white face. But how? It's only Sebastian, our loving dog? He turns and follows father.

_**You played ring around the ambulance, like you never gave a care, so get the choir boys around you, it's a complement I swear**_

I can't sleep right now, I wish to see mother and father again. I get up and leave my rooms. The hall is dark, lit only by the moon at the end of the corridor. As I walk, I am confident I will find her rooms simply by walking where I think they are. But after a while, I realize that won't happen. So I go to the hall I know is the one that leads to the grand entry way. It is at the center of our mansion.

_**And I said ashes to ashes, we all fall down, I wanna hear you sing the praise. I said ashes to ashes we all fall down, we got innocence for days**_

I descend the stairs and look to my right. I see the doors and almost expect Elizabeth to come crashing through them. She doesn't though, she's at her home asleep, like most children my age should be. I ascend the stairs on the other side of the raised area and enter the west wing of the manor. I know fathers rooms are here somewhere. But then I here a shuffle, and see a tail disappear behind a corner. Oh! It's Sebastian.

"Sebastian" I call softly. Perhaps he couldn't sleep either and has come looking for me, so that we can play together. I follow him, and see him round another corner. Soon I know where I am, it's the hall my fathers rooms are located in. I see his door is slightly ajar at the end, and I begin walking, when I here a strange, noise. My father is moaning, as through he's in pain; I run to the door and stop dead.

_**Well I think I'm gonna burn in hell, everybody burn a house right down.**_

A man is on top of father on his bed, with black hair and skin so pail it was glowing white in the dim candle light. The collar Sebastian wore still around his neck. He was doing something to father that made him moan again. What was he doing? For some reason I became very scared. I backed up a step and the mans head shot up for a moment.

"S-Sebastian?" my father asked shakily, but I only barley heard him. The man turned his head and locked eyes with me. He smirked and his red eyes flashed.

I couldn't scream, only run again. Why was he here? I though frantically as I ran. I had escaped him…I…memory was coming back, as I ran, and that man followed, wearing a pair of fathers pants. He walked, I ran, and I never got any farther from him. Finally I collapsed at the end of the hall. And he smirked as he approached.

_**Take this to my grave**_

I backed up against the window, all I could feel was fear. Nothing else, I couldn't feel hate, like I should have. How could he do those things to my father, all because he wanted trust, because he wanted my father's soul? How many men and women had he deceived in the same way? How many children like me? I couldn't find the hate, I understood what he had done, but this child's mind couldn't comprehend it. So I felt the closest thing my temporary mind could, I felt fear, absolute, sickening fear, as I backed up against that window and he knelt before me.

_**Tell me I'm a bad boy kick me like a stray, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave, now**_

I hate you; I hate you so much, but…no...I…

_**You better run like the Devil 'cause there never gonna leave you alone**_

You kiss my hand and smile, the smirk is gone, the lust is gone…the danger has passed. My fear is ebbing.

"Hello there, little love" you whisper with so much warmth, my fear completely disappears. "I'm so sorry, I forgot, I need to be careful with you don't I?" your voice is layered with honey. I blink blearily to clear my vision. It's becoming hazy; the world around us is getting fuzzy and hard to focus on. I'm not a little boy anymore, I can feel it.

_**You better hide up in the alley 'cause there never gonna find you a home**_

"Dear little pet" you whisper as you kiss my ear, the one you gave me…their back. They were never gone…what a horrible realization. I feel your hands slide under me and lift me up, and a jolt of panic races through me. Memories flood back, all of it, everything they did…everything you did.

_**And as the blood runs down the walls, you see me creeping up these halls.**_

I cry out and struggle and you simply raise your eyebrows and shift me in your arms, so that I am carried like a child, like my father held me. I scream no, your face hardens and you use one hand to hold my face in place.

_**I've been a bad mother fucker tell your sister I'm another and go go go.**_

"Ceil, look at me" no, I won't. I don't care what you say, what you do, it all leads to that. To what you seem to do best. "Ceil" your voice is firm and finale, I see your eyes glow and my ears and tail begin to tingle; my eyes are unwillingly dragged to your face. I can't look away, I want to so desperately but I can't.

_**And I said say, what I wanna say, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave**_

"You know I love you…don't you?" you say softly, and lean your forehead against mine.

"You lying bastard" I whisper, I can hold the tears back now, thank whoever. You look almost sad as you close you eyes, thinking of how to respond.

"What's come over you darling? I thought you loved me" the sting in my eyes is almost unbearable, but I choke it back and do my best to glare.

"How could I not…" I hate myself for not being able to lie. As I ran on those short legs, from what I knew would come time and time again, even during the action, I realized I loved him. No matter what he did to me, or anyone else. No matter what memories he resurfaced.

"I love you to death" I whispered, "Do you love me to death?"

_**Tell me I'm a bad boy, kick me like a stray, tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave**_

You smile and kiss me, it's not nice, you're not nice. It's demanding and invading, and I can't help the tears that fill my eyes.

_**Tell me I'm a bad bad bad bad boy**_

Because I love it, it hurts so much and I love it

_**Tell me I'm a bad bad bad bad boy**_

You stop to pull the bow again and I grip your hand. You look at me amused.

_**So get up,**_

"Please" I beg quietly

_**So get out**_

You smile sweetly. "No"

_**Yes I am, Yes I am**_

I love you to death, master.

_Wow…that was fairly dark by my standards…I almost started crying while writing this…but I'm really emotional, and this is actually a very sensitive subject for me. But after watching a little more of the anime, I can't help but think that Sebastian, if in complete control, would do something like this. However, I'm not sure Ceil would handle it this way. But, you know he's been going through an unprecedented amount of this. After a while, I think he would start to do anything to stop it. I watched the episode where Elizabeth was turned into a doll, and the puppet master guy, whatever his name was, reminded me that those people in white didn't just brand Ceil, so…I incorporated that perpetual fear he seems to have of being touched like that._

_Me: CEIL-CAHN! IM SO SORRY_

_Ceil: …you're very mean…Hitomi-san_

_Me: I know…but…I can't tell you how Sebby-chan really feel's because it will ruin it for them!_

_Ceil: …*Looks away*_

_Sebastian: Ceil, darling, come here, I'm board_

_Ceil: *twitches, goes to him*_

_Me: O.O … OwO *writes down everything I see*_

_Me: REVIEW PLEASE! _


	7. SORRY GUYS!

This is not an updater, this is a message, so read it. I'm not going to be continuing this story as of now. I have no idea what's wrong with me but I can't continue to write this. I might pick it up in the fall or something when my brain is back where it should be. And even then, I won't continue unless I have a beta, I apologize to anyone saddened by this news and anyone who had the misfortune of reading it. I give you all cookies for your valiant sacrifices. (gives cookies to everyone)


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